C-rona chronicles: day 55-60 “the meltdown edition”

“The following events might or might have happened during the last five days. Whenever possible, the actual blog writer participated in writing this blog entry. What you’re about to read is not a regular blog post but a nervous breakdown caused by the quarantine.”

9:05 every day – Woke up, roll to the other side of the bed and started crying.

10:35 every day – Finished my daily team meeting. Hung up and started crying.

11:05 every other day – Stopped crying. Grabbed a tissue and started crying.

1:30 every day – Bit my nails from the stress of this situation, then started crying.

3:30 one day – Started screaming while my face was buried on a pillow. Hopefully the client didn’t see that. We finished the presentation and then we all started crying.

4:30 most days – Downed a bag of Doritos. I was just gonna eat a few chips but MSG got the best of me. Started crying when I finished the bag.

6:30 every other day – Dropped into a COD mission with the homies. We all started crying when we lost the game. Doza was the MVP again, he cried because of that.

7:45 most days – Cooked dinner. Started crying. Used my tears as seasoning.

8:01 most days – Ate ice cream. No crying. Ice cream makes everything better.

Somewhat serious disclaimer
If you are struggling to cope with this social distancing and you feel like you need to talk to someone, I can always lend an ear. I’m terrible at these things, but we’re in this together so I’ll do my best. Better yet, reach out to a mental health professional because they rock and can help you more than a copywriter that’s just trying to be funny. Remember, you’re not alone in this and we can all help each other. Kumquat.