C-rona chronicles: day 17

9:36 – Woke up extremely bored. Somehow, this led me to organize my old VHS tapes.

9:37 – Look at this! It's the full Insanity workout! I'm gonna get sooo ripped by the end of the quarantine.

9:38 – Minor hurdle... I don't have a VHS player... I guess my Ad Bod is not going anywhere. (Goes back to the couch)

10:16 – For the imaginary Millenials and Gen Zs living in my head, a VHS tape was a thing that you put into another thing to watch videos. Think Netflix but with a thing instead of the internet.

11:05 – Went out for a COVID-19 run. I didn't forget my pants this time. I'm back to winning bitches! #WinningAgain

2:46 – Started a fight with myself over all the dirty dishes in the sink. Other Me doesn't understand how much I like to have a clean house.

2:48 – Our fight just escalated and we're in full shouting match. Other Me is angry about me eating all the ice cream. One of us is sleeping on the couch tonight...

2:50 – Been confined with an imaginary me is hell. We're definitely getting a divorce once this quarantine is over. I tried to make it work for the sake of our imaginary dogs but Other Me is being impossible.

3:00 – Other Me heard about the divorce and is threatening me to take away the Playstation. It forced me to sign a peace treaty. But mark my words... This is not over...

4:50 – In other news, I started riding virtual rollercoasters and it's suprisingly easy and fun.

• Step 1: Find a POV, YouTube video of the rollercoaster you want to ride.

• Step 2: Spin around until you're so dizzy you can't stand up straight.

• Step 3: Get your face as close as you can to the TV or computer.

• Step 4: Watch the video.

• Step 5: Try not to puke.

• Step 6: Stand in an imaginary line for 2 hours. Repeat.