C-rona chronicles: day 23

11:30 – Day 323,408 of the quarantine: I've finally ran out of Netflix shows to watch. One more day like this and I'm either gonna solve the cat lady's husband disappearance or making my own reality show.

12:50 – I've seen several friends getting a buzz cut. I went another route and instead shaved my eyebrows. I really hope we don't go back to work until they're back to normal.

1:30 – That's it. I've finally ghosted myself. I wanted to take the high road and explain why things didn't work out between us, but other me gets all intense. So... no more texts from me to me. #ByeFelicia

3:30 – My brain is a mush today and I'm having trouble remembering all the things I did today. But I'm committed to this blog, so I'm just gonna put some random words together and hope they make sense.

3:31 – I just bought a red tankini I'm not gonna be able to wear during the spring. My trip to Colombia was cancelled and I'm tanning my butt out the window. Walnuts are precious nuts. They're crunchy and delicious. I need to eat more fruit. Kumkuat.

4:30 – In days like these, I really, really want to be like my next door neighbor. There he is, laying butt naked on a beach chair in the backyard, drinking Coors Light and not giving a fuck about anything. #TuesdayGoals

5:30 – I'm one meeting away from starting a collection of walnuts that look like people and objects. That's all.

6:30 – Ok, I've officially started The Walnut Museum and set up a GoFundMe to finance it.