C-rona chronicles: day 8

11:03 – I've created a new fashion trend called "Business Quarantine". You wear pajama bottoms or comfy sweatpants over a dress shirt, a dinner jacket and a tie. It's perfect for when you want to fool coworkers into thinking you have your shit together but still like to be comfy.

11:05 – I wonder if my "Business Quarantine" clothing line will make me a post-apocalyptic millionaire? In return, all my employees can work from home.

12:01 – My biggest fear has changed from the monster under my bed to waking up and realizing my Lysol spray is empty. It has become a recurring nightmare. Whenever I wake up from it, I just turn around and hug my Lysol bottle. It's both comforting and disinfecting at the same time.

12:30 – I wonder if banner Click-Through-Rate will go up during this Social Distancing. Can I make a banner so irresistible everyone in the world has to click it because they're so bored and this click will be the most entertaining part of their day?

12:31 – In other news, being al philosophical and shit makes me consume snacks at twice my normal rate. Whenever I'm thinking, I consume 3.5 Cheese Puff bags in under 2 minutes.